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Melbourne, Monsey, Ottawa, Montreal, Bal Harbor, Sunny Isles Beach, Worcester, Pittsburgh, Chicago, Ann Arbor, Atlanta, Kensington and of course, Crown Heights.

From these locations and more, came 40 delegates to our International Shidduch Group Network Shabbaton this past weekend, Cheshvan 10-12/October 23-25, Parshas Lech Lecha.

The V.I.P. Invitation Only Shabbaton took place in Crown Heights to unite Chapter leaders and shadchanim and strengthen their resolve to work together to enable our singles to get to the chuppah, incorporating the directives of the Rebbe.

Together, they learned, farbrenged, and networked, inspired by guest speakers, hosts and hostesses.  Friendships were renewed and strengthened, infusing all with a feeling of empowerment as we strive to help one another, friends and neighbors to make shidduchim.

The weekend kicked-off with a royal catered Shabbos dinner at the home of Choula and Leibish Nash.  Rabbi Nash gave a dvar Torah, and regaled us with a story of the legendary shadchan Shimshon Stock who made many matches in Crown Heights a few decades ago.  Sara Tova Best spoke about the power of Hakhel Year.  "According to the Rebbe, by taking advantage of every opportunity to make Hakhel gatherings, we can 'upgrade' from Golus to Geula," she told us.  

Rebbetzin Toby Leider, of Melbourne, inspired us with stories.  The most poignant gave over an experience from many years ago that occurred at a Kinus haShluchos convention.  At a farbrengen at 2 am, women were asking for brachos for whatever they needed, to which everyone answered “Amen.” One pregnant woman turned to her family on either side of her and confided that her doctor had forewarned her that tests revealed she was carrying a Down's Syndrome baby. She asked that they ask for a bracha to give her the strength and wisdom to raise this child. Instead they asked for a bracha that she would give birth to a healthy baby – to which 600 women answered, “Amen!” Several months later, the woman gave birth and right afterwards she asked her doctor, "Please tell me, “How am I to take care of this child?"  To which the doctor replied, "I don't know what you mean--you just gave birth to a PERFECTLY HEALTHY BABY."

Toby led our whole group in giving brachos to one another enthusiastically—for refuahs and yeshuas and for shidduchim for the singles in our lives. Tears were flowing as hearts opened in shared requests. It was a magical experience that surely will be remembered by all who were there. We hope that those heartfelt requests will be speedily answered, in the merit of our achdus and ahavas Yisroel!

Ayala Moshiach (and family) were our gracious hosts for a gourmet Shabbos lunch.  Ayala leads a large Shidduch Group in Crown Heights for mostly Hebrew-speaking ladies.  They meet every Tuesday night, learn many inyanim of the Rebbe regarding shidduchim, and give regularly as a group to Hachnossas Kallah.

Our Shabbaton reconvened for the afternoon session at the home of Shaindy Gutnick.  Dr. Elka Pinson--therapist, shidduch coach, and shadchan--gave a seminar on "Shidduchim:  Past, Present and Future," openly dealing with several pertinent issues in shidduchim.  Sara Tova Best, a personal coach and EFT therapist, spoke about how to get successfully"unstuck" in relationships, especially singles who seem to be "blocked" reaching their goal of getting married.

Motzei Shabbos we were feted with a delectable Melave Malka meal, prepared by Mindy Lokeinsky and Raizy Brownstein, at Rayim Ahuvim shul. Thanks go to Chapter Leader Chavi Katzman, whose husband is the Shul gabbai, for hosting. The program for the evening was musical entertainment by singer Rivkah Eilfort, followed by a "Q & A: Ask the Shadchan" panel discussion. Moderator Leah Bergovoy interviewed the panel of experienced shadchanim, consisting of Chana Miriam Hubener, Toby Lieder, Fayge Rapp and Shandel Malka Blasberg.  

"Let's Make Matches!"  The Grand Finale

The Shabbaton concluded at the home of Sharona Sternbach on Sunday morning, with a delicious brunch, sponsored by Tamar Stone's Crown Heights Shidduch Group. Shoshana Lerner of "Chabad Shidduch" fame led a grand networking/profile-sharing session. Shoshana hosts a monthly Chabad Profile Sharing Meeting at Chabad of Midwood which attracts participants from the tri-state area.  Her knack for efficiently leading a roundtable networking session, interspersed with a sprinkling of shidduch jokes, has led to many matches being made. Our event was no exception!  Names were "flying" around the table as participants put on their "shidduch antennae" and compared notes to suggest shidduchim to one another.  We understand "from the grapevine" that shidduch dating resulting from this session is already underway!

By the time 1 PM came and the Shabbaton came to a close, every delegate left feeling inspired and empowered, ready to reconnect with her local Shidduch Group and get back to the work of learning the Rebbe's directives for shidduchim and putting them into practice; networking locally and internationally with ISGN members to make matches; davening for one another, and much more.​

At the conclusion of the Shabbaton, International Shidduch Group Network President Elana Bergovoy made a plea to the group for tax-deductible donations to be made to the Network, a 501(C) 3 non-profit organization.  "Please help us to help you," she said.  "We can only continue this important work with your help."  

For more information, please go to shidduchgroupnetwork.com/donate.

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The Los Angeles Shidduch Network hosted Labish and Elana Bergovoy at a meeting on Thursday evening, April 23, at Bais Levi Yitchok shul. Men and women from the LA community came to hear an update on news from the International Shidduch Group Network from Elana, as well as a shiur titled "Emunah: Parting the Red Sea" given by
Judge Bergovoy. The shiur was followed by a Q&A session. Labish shared stories of faith and trust in Hashem, culled from his experiences as a Chassidic Jewish lawyer and judge. He then encouraged all present to take part in the Shidduch Group Network and similarly have complete emunah that Hashem will bring everyone's shidduch.

Thanks to Miriam Feiner, Debbie Fine and Shoshana Bracha Plotke for organizing the meeting, and to all who participated. Great to see everyone, and hope to share more good news soon!

1) Mrs. Yehudis Austin hosted the Stamford Hill Shidduch Group in her home on Wednesday evening, March 11. The Shidduch Group decorated "L'chaim plates" in hopes that by preparing for our l'chaims, we made tangible kaylim to "encourage" Hashem to hasten the simchas in store! We had a great time expressing our artistic talent and infusing our plates with hopes and wishes for the future. Fun and friendship were shared by all as we discussed with  anticipation the upcoming simchas we'll surely be celebrating b'ezras Hashem.

2) The first night of Elana Bergovoy's exciting trip to London on Monday night, Mrs. Nechama Dina Cyprys hosted an evening for some very lovely post-seminary young ladies, called "Express Your Self." An extensive spread of delicacies and drinks was enjoyed by all, enhancing the upbeat mood of the evening. We toasted each other's good fortune with special Rebbe wine Mrs. Cyprys brought back from a special workshop on Shidduchim she just attended at the Kinus HaShluchos in Crown Heights.

We are all holding the "Vision Boards" we created.  They are an expression of our favorite things, as well as our hopes and goals for the future. This creative activity helps us to make a tangible compass for who we want to be, where we want to go and what we want to do. "Tracht gut vet zein gut--think good and it will be good!"  Out of our hearts and minds come our visions for the good to come, captured on our beautiful vision boards. L'chaim!

This past Sunday night, Ohr l'25 Adar/March 15, the International Shidduch Group Network inaugurated its first Regional Shidduch Office.

The LONDON SHIDDUCH OFFICE, located in the Bais Chana building in Stamford Hill, will serve as a point of contact for those seeking shidduchim in the United Kingdom.

Our goal is to open regional offices throughout the world.

This historical event was made possible with the haskama and bracha of Dayan Raskin and the enthusiastic support of Rabbi Nissan Dovid Dubov and Rabbi Shmuel Lew.

The idea for the London Shidduch Office originated this past Elul during a discussion between Elana Bergovoy, Rahel Davidoff (head of N'Shei Chabad in London) and Rebbetzin Sudak, the widow of Rabbi Sudak, head shaliach of the UK. Mrs. Bergovoy suggested the need for an organized shidduch initiative, in coordination with the Shidduch Group Network, that can operate out of a central office to answer the need of Jewish singles in the greater London area.
Mrs. Sudak., enthusiastic about the proposal, was instrumental in obtaining clearance for an office in the Bais Chana building to be allocated for this purpose.

Many other community members have generously given of their time, effort, support and resources during the past six months, to make this timely idea a reality, culminating in the grand Open House celebration this past Sunday night.

The London Shidduch Office will employ a part-time secretary.  It will be accessible six days a week by email -- [email protected] -- and by phone. Further details will be forthcoming after Pesach.

Tzirel Frankel, veteran shadchanit from Los Angeles, gave a seminar in Crown Heights about how to talk a shidduch on Thursday, February 19. A group of 15 aspiring shadchanim gathered at the home of Mrs. Leah Barber to hear tips from a pro and stories from Ms. Frankel's 25 years as a shadchan. She stressed how important it is for anyone involved in helping a shidduch along to really get to know their subjects, understand where they're coming from, and to care, be able to invest your time, and to listen. The talk is forthcoming shortly on Torah Cafe.

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This week, the Miami Beach Chapter hosted a Tu B'Shevat event. The meeting took place at the home of Rita Steiner in Bal Harbor, with Rabbi Menachem Bergovoy as the guest speaker.

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Rabbi Avbrohom & Yehudis Blumberger were the gracious hosts of this year's annual Chicago Shidduch Group Chanukah Couples Melave Malka.

A festive pot-luck seudah was enjoyed by all! Members contributed delicious homemade soup, salmon, quiche, salad, garlic bread, candies & nuts, l'chaim drinks and more!

Elana Bergovoy welcomed the crowd and introduced a short video with highlights from the recent International Shidduch Group Network Conference in Crown Heights. Included in the video was a film clip of keynote speaker, Kivi Bernhart. He emphasized that that when trying to get to the goal--the chuppah--one needn't worry so frantically about "how"--HOW am I going to marry off my child--as long as he/she is clear about the "why." A single should be extremely clear about what marriage is, why they are dating for marriage, & why he/she is getting married!!  Also what qualities he/she brings to the relationship & what he/she needs in a marriage partner.

MC Labish Bergovoy told a beautiful story illustrating the inyanim of hashgacha pratis, bitachon and emunah in shidduchim.

Mr. Bergovoy then introduced guest speaker, Rabbi Mendel Moscowitz. Rabbi Moscowitz spoke about the highlights of the recent workshop on Shidduchim at the Kinus haShluchim. He gave over important news from Moishe Raichman, founder of Chabadmatch.com, and urged everyone to try and utilize this site when searching for shidduchim. He also gave a chazara of remarks by Rabbi Nissen Dovid Dubov, author of "Mazel Tov: A Chabad Wedding Guide." 

Rabbi Dubov said that many times parents feel overwhelmed in their search for matches for their children. However they should try and "compartmentalize." He explained that the ship "Titanic" had a special compartmentalized system to prevent flooding of its enormous engine room in the bottom of the ship. The ship's hold was divided into multiple chambers with heavy doors separating each one from the others. That way, if one chamber became flooded, the doors to the others would seal themselves off from becoming flooded. 

If we, as parents, can try and focus on the particular shidduch suggestion at hand, or other details, as we proceed calmly to the goal, we will avoid becoming overwhelmed by the HUGE challenge of finding "the right ones at the right times" for our children!

Thanks to the Blumbergers, Wolfs, Grossmans, Bukiets, Grinkers, Krokers, Rivkins. Zimmermans, Moscowitzes, Citrins & Bergovoys for their help in putting this memorable event together. May we all share many simchas very soon!

On Motzei Shabbos, December 6, 14 Kislev, the London Shidduch Group was proud to hold a real "farbrengen" in honor of the wedding anniversary of the Lubavitcher Rebbe and Rebbetzin.

The evening was organized by Mrs. Sukie Rubin and hosted by Mrs. Chana Mina Bensusan in Stamford Hill. Mrs. Soroh Inglis and many other ladies helped the hostess prepare a beautiful seudah.

Attendees shared stories of the Rebbe and Rebbetzin's special marriage.

Mrs. Soroh Dubov traveled in from Wimbledon and shared a remarkable story. She recounted how the Rebbe looked after and fed children in an orphanage in Marseilles during world War II, at which time the children simply knew him as "Monsieur."  Only much later was it discovered that "Monsieur" was actually the Rebbe!

The ladies all had "l'chaims" and gave brochas to each other for those mentioned to find their zivugguim, as well as refuahs for those in need.

The farbrengen concluded with joyful singing.

Anyone wanting to contact the London Shidduch Group should call Mrs. Sukie Rubin at 079566982451.

Nearly two-hundred women gathered for this year’s Shidduch conference hosted by the International Shidduch Group Network on Sunday, November 9th/16 Cheshvan in Crown Heights. 

Participants came together from Australia, England, Canada, California, Florida, Minnesota, Texas, Michigan, Illinois, Pennsylvania, Maryland, the tri-state area and, of course, from Crown Heights. 

Attendees were inspired by the deep and stirring stories told by keynote speaker Kivi Bernhard. His message: Embrace the "why" of shidduchim and you will discover "how" to get to the goal: the chuppah!

Words of wisdom from panel discussionists Miryam Swerdlov, Esther Friedman, Moishe Raitman, Yitzchok Dubov, Devora Krasnianski, and Chaya Sarah Gurewicz were shared on topics most pertinent to those seeking shidduchim. A partnership with Rabbi Manis Friedman provided every attendee with a complimentary copy of Part 1 of his Online Dating Course designed to prepare bochurim and girls for dating and marriage. To facilitate continued profile sharing after the conference, a partnership with ChabadMatch, a database of Chabad singles worldwide, allows every conference attendee to register on ChabadMatch, waiving the fee.  For those new to shidduchim or veterans, this year’s Shidduch conference brought together all the pieces of the puzzle for successful shidduchim in one day. "Never before have shadchanim, coaches, trainers, singles and parents been brought together in one place at one time to network, learn and make shidduchim,” says Elana Bergovoy, President of the Shidduch Group Network. 

The London Shidduch Group welcomed over ninety ladies Sunday night at the Lubavitch Main Hall in Stamford Hill for an exciting event entitled:  "Connect 4 Shidduchim." 

Leaders of the London Chapter of the International Shidduch Group Network, Mrs. Sukie Rubin and Mrs. Miriam Moses, brought Mrs. Elana Bergovoy, President of the International Shidduch Group Network, from her home base in Chicago, IL, to help take the UK Shidduch Groups to the next level.   Mrs.  Bergovoy inspired and motivated the community to network and organize to both encourage more English to English shidduchim, and enable bocherim outside the UK to meet the beautiful, intelligent, mature and capable young ladies "across the pond. "
 
The whirlwind of events began Shabbos afternoon with thirty post-seminary girls farbrenging at the home of Mrs. Miriam Moses.  Mrs. Bergovoy spoke about Chai Elul, the Baal Shem Tov, and the Alter Rebbe.  She toldstories that illustrated the point that no matter where a person is, when it's time for her to meet her bashert, Hashem will bring them together. The girls introduced themselves by age, name and what they're doing now. Most were strikingly beautiful, lively 20 to 25 year-olds working in a range of different fields, including teaching, accounting,and the helping professions.  They sang niggunim  and danced and made "Lchaims! "  Then it was time to head to Mrs. Rivkah Raskin's house for the 6 pm Stamford Hill Shabbos Shidduch Group meeting where they said many kapitellach Tehillim, read from "Eternal Joy,"  by Rabbi Shalom Ber Wineberg,  on  the Rebbe's advice about the period of engagement, and discussed the material.  
 
On Monday,  Mrs. Bergovoy travelled to Manchester where she spoke at a special gathering for members of N’shei Chabad at the home of Mrs. Yael Klyne, organized by Sora Baila Klyne, through the London ShidduchGroup.  This was the launching of the Manchester Shidduch Group  and events are already being planned for after Rosh Hashanah, including a joint London/Manchester shadchan evening.   Once again the atmosphere was festive, with exquisite balloon centerpieces and creatively laid tables.
 
On Tuesday, back in London,  shadchanim, shluchas and community leaders met with Mrs. Bergovoy at the home of Feige Sudak and discussed ways to connect with other communities and improve networking. One of the points raised was that the Rebbe strongly encouraged bocherim to go to meet the girls, wherever they may be.  In addition, bocherim are often much more flexible than working girls, to travel for shidduchim purposes.  Plans can easily be made through shadchanim for bocherim to meet girls where they live.  Meetings can also successfully be arranged, to enable men and women to meet initially by Skype.
 
On Wednesday evening in Golders Green at the home of the Prus family, Mrs. Bergovoy farbrenged with many more post-seminary girls about developing their characters at this crucial stage of life to promote continued growth and not to stand still because they have finished their formal education.
 
The week culminated in the ultimate simcha with the Dubov / Moscowitz chassunah in Wimbledon, London on Thursday evening.  Rabbi Nissan Dovid Dubov, author of Mazel Tov: A Chabad Wedding Guide is on the Board of Directors of the International Shidduch Group Network and was the keynote speaker at last November’s Annual Shidduch  Group Network Conference.  His address was entitled, “Getting to the Chuppah.”
 
The committee in London would like to express its thanks to all the people who contributed their time and talents to make this Shidduch  Initiative so successfully productive.  For further information on the LondonShidduch Groups, contact sukierubin@gmail.com

Join the Shidduch Group Network's Elul Teleconference and tap into                                         mazal to uplift our lives!

                   Guest speaker, Mrs. Schusterman will speak on: 
                                         "Perseverance in Shidduchim"                       

Mrs. Chana Rachel Schusterman is an international speaker, educator, and spiritual counselor with a specialty in helping people discover their talents according to Torah. She is a dating mentor who has taught hundreds of girls in the seminaries in Israel how to date and how to recognize whom to marry. Through her own dating process she was guided by great people who gave her knowledge and understanding that helped her and gave her perspective that she shares in her counseling.  She provides private dating mentoring, guiding people before and during their dating process. 

When:  Sunday, September 14th / 19th Elul, 4:00 - 5:15 PM EST
Conference Call: 712 432-0265  
Access Code: 469516#
Attendance is Free and Donations are appreciated DONATE NOW
Please reserve your opportunity to share profiles on a first-come first-served basis.  Space is limited.  

DON'T MISS THE OPPORTUNITY TO TAP INTO THE ENERGY OF ELUL!

Profile Guidelines

• Initials
  
• Height and Age
  
• What defines them? (Include personality, talents, middos, focus in life, and other distinguishing characteristics.)
  
• What is unique about them?
  
• What are they seeking in a mate? (Include personality, talents, middos, focus in life, and distinguishing characteristics.)
  
• What type of home do they envision for themselves in the future?
  
• What is the contact information for this profile?
  
• Email the profile to [email protected] with subject line: PROFILE

We look forward to your participation! 

To RSVP, please email [email protected] - include RSVP in the Subject Line

Those attending the Teleconference will receive the compiled package of profiles shortly after the Teleconference. For more information, feel free to contact Elana Bergovoy or Dvora Schulman at [email protected]

This Sunday, September 14th, the Crown Heights Shidduch Group led by Tamar Stone will be joining together to make matches for friends and family at a "Ruble Meeting."  At a "Ruble Meeting" upon making a potential match, participants place a ruble (any amount) in the pushka thereby generating mazal and drawing down blessing. The women of Crown Heights  are invited to bring profiles and think about the possibilities for their children, nieces, nephews, neighbors' son, and co-worker's daughter at this unique evening.

When: 8:30 PM Sunday, September 14th
Where: 1474 Carroll Street (between Albany and Troy) 
Who: Anyone Looking for their Child's Bashert

For more information contact Tamar Stone: 718- 613-0642 

The  London Shiduch Group is proud to  announce that the president of the International  Shiuduch Group Network, Mrs. Elana Bergovoy of Chicago,  is  coming to London  to inspire us all  with  a talk  entitled, “Connect 4 Shidduchim” on Sunday, 14th September.  The event will be held  at Lubavitch house London starting at 7.45pm . Entrance fee is £5.

Mrs. Bergovoy has traveled throughout the United States, Canada and Australia enthusing her audiences to  get involved in making successful shidduchim.  She will be visiting Manchester, as well, on Monday, 15 September. For further information call 07956982451

Jewish history was made in the greater metro Detroit community on Thursday evening, July 31st (4th Av) in Bloomfield Hills, MI.  For the first time ever women, ages ten to eighty five, from all walks of Jewish life joined forces and created challah and unity during a time of worldwide turmoil.  One-hundred forty Jewish women gathered for Operation Challah in memory of Naftali Fraenkel, Gil-Ad Shaer and Eyal Yifrach to bake challah for Shabbos.  Mothers, daughters, grandmothers, and friends of diverse backgrounds from the Detroit metropolitan area joined forces to reach across the globe to our brothers and sisters in eretz Yisroel and transform the mundane to the holy through the mitzvah of challah.

The event was organized by Aviva Gordon, Leader of the Detroit Area Shidduch Group/Mazel Tov Connection, to bring Jewish women together to remember our boys, create unity and light, and bring down blessings.  All net proceeds will be sent directly to the Fraenkel, Shaer and Yifrach families.  The Secret Ingredients of Challah Baking program, developed by Mrs. Janet Chana Esses of Brooklyn, NY, includes blessings and insights associated with each step and ingredient.  These blessings strengthen the qualities needed by women to nurture and nourish themselves, their loved ones and their communities.

The evening began with Tehillim and a Prayer for our Soldiers followed by challah preparation, and the mitzvah of l’hafrish challah -  separating challah.  The step-by-step hands-on challah experience connected each step and ingredient with a blessing.  Huddled around mixing bowls, the women mixed and kneaded with their hands and turned hearts and souls inward as they recited the blessings for unity, happiness, protection, health, success, wisdom and removal of negative influences upon themselves and one another.

While the dough was rising, Zeesy Silberberg, Shlucha at Tugman Bais Chabad Torah Center in West Bloomfield, MI, spoke to the room full of women wearing Operation Challah aprons dusted with flour.  She asked the women to envision the effect of every Jewish home baking challah for Shabbat.  To imagine in every neighborhood the smell of baking challah wafting through windows, doorways and crevices and the neighbors would know that Shabbat is coming because the Jewish women are making challah. 

At a Chassidic farbrengen once, the Lubavitcher Rebbe shared, “If we only knew what is accomplished when a Jew pushes out just one negative thought from his mind . . . the entire world is affected!” When the Rebbe talked about the “entire world” being affected, he made a 360-degree turn with his hand. 

Zeesy asked, “If this is what happens with THOUGHTS, imagine what our ACTIONS create! Our positive thoughts and acts create a force to influence and inspire the world.” 

While the mitzvah of challah is open to anyone to perform, Zeesy shared that it is specifically given to women.  “Women do this mitzvah with all the proper intentions because it is in our nature, in our personal DNA to constantly give from what we have.  We are the nurturers, the givers of society.”  Zeesy led the women in the blessing of l’hafrish challah “separating the challah” and invited everyone to partake of the Light up the World Shabbat candle lighting kits.  Not a one remained.

The raffle prize was awarded and challah braiding began.  Thanks to Nehama Abraham, video demonstrations played on the large screens showcasing the boys and step-by-step instructions of the practical and spiritual components of challah making.  Hostesses were available for hands-on assistance. With elevated hearts and spirits, each woman carried home a ready-to-bake challah for Shabbat.  Heartfelt thanks are extended to the many volunteers and sponsors, including the Detroit Jewish News, who made Operation Challah a great success.

Over forty women gathered at the Annual Chicago Shidduch Group Conference on Sunday, July 27th/Tammuz 29 to learn, network, gain inspiration, and guidance in their journey of making shidduch Group Network welcomed women and post-seminary girls to an evening packed with fun and practical direction in guiding our children to the chuppah.  Mrs. Bergovoy shared the story of how the Chicago Shidduch Group was formed with just a small group of friends nine years ago.  Based upon Torah and the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, the group’s activities led to engagements and has evolved into a global network.  With chapters in over four dozen cities, the International Shidduch Group Network, now a tax-exempt 501(c)3 charitable organization, has had an important part in making  hundreds of shidduchim since its inception.  

The uplifting evening began with a dvar Torah by Mrs. Brocha Wolf of the Chicago Mitzvah Campaign.  Raffle drawings, including a one day pass to the JLI Women’s Day Event, were sprinkled throughout and winners claimed a variety of prizes.  Elegant table settings were featured by Rochel Bukiet, party planner and stylist extraordinaire.

The highlight of the evening was the sought-after guest speaker Mrs.Esther Friedman.  Mrs. Friedman is an experienced shidduch coach and co-director of the  Torah Learning Center and Director of the Jewish Women’s Institute in Overland Park, Kansas.  With her in-depth knowledge of Torah, Kabballah and Temperament Theory, Rebbetzin Friedman has counseled and helped countless people in all walks of life, including those in the parsha of shidduchim. 

Mrs. Friedman incorporates personal stories into her down-to-earth yet uncommon approach to shidduchim.  She shared that when she was twenty-one, her father came to her with a suggestion for a shidduch.  But first he asked her, “Is there anyone you’re interested in going out with?” 

She emphasized the importance of trusting our children, because “then they will trust us and trust themselves.”   She enumerated over a dozen practical aspects to ensure a good shidduch, including approaches to reference checking, recommended duration and frequency of dating, the importance of a good shadchan as a go-between, and the need for a mashpia/coach with whom to process and explore any and all doubts/concerns that come forward.  While the end goal is to make a dira b’tachtonim--to create a dwelling place for Hashem-- Mrs. Friedman acknowledged that what we accomplish in a shidduch is greater than Kriyas Yam Suf, the splitting of the sea.