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Tips -- June 23, 2015
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The Rebbe said, when one has a desire for something, usually one develops a feeling for it, and the stronger the feeling one develops, this is a sign of hamshochas halev. A young lady once came to the Rebbe and told the Rebbe she is meeting a bochur, however, she doesn't know whether she has hamshochas halev, whether she’s attracted to him. She asked the Rebbe what should she do?
The Rebbe told her, “Take an intermission of two weeks. During those two weeks, don't see each other, do not speak to each other, do not have any connection with him, after the two weeks, come back to me.”
She came back after two weeks and the Rebbe asked her, “Did you feel a vacuum? Did you feel during these two weeks, that you’re missing something? Did you have a desire to speak to him, did you have a desire to see him?”
When she told the Rebbe, no to all these questions, the Rebbe said, “That’s an indication that he’s not for you. Just go look for something else.”
Hamshochas halev means that there is something that you truly want and if you don't have it, you’re constantly thinking about it. You’re trying to find ways how to get it. You feel a strong desire for it. Of course, it has to be in a tzniusdika way.
I don't know if I told you about my own experience when I asked the Rebbe whether I should finish the Shidduch I was meeting?
The Rebbe told me, “I can’t help you, not your father can help you, not your mother and not even yourself, not even your mind. The only thing that can help you,” the Rebbe pointed with his finger to his heart, “the heart, if you have a feeling for her, if you feel that with not having her, you feel something is missing, a siman das iz das, if you don't have that feeling, it’s not the thing that’s for you.”
The Rebbe told her, “Take an intermission of two weeks. During those two weeks, don't see each other, do not speak to each other, do not have any connection with him, after the two weeks, come back to me.”
She came back after two weeks and the Rebbe asked her, “Did you feel a vacuum? Did you feel during these two weeks, that you’re missing something? Did you have a desire to speak to him, did you have a desire to see him?”
When she told the Rebbe, no to all these questions, the Rebbe said, “That’s an indication that he’s not for you. Just go look for something else.”
Hamshochas halev means that there is something that you truly want and if you don't have it, you’re constantly thinking about it. You’re trying to find ways how to get it. You feel a strong desire for it. Of course, it has to be in a tzniusdika way.
I don't know if I told you about my own experience when I asked the Rebbe whether I should finish the Shidduch I was meeting?
The Rebbe told me, “I can’t help you, not your father can help you, not your mother and not even yourself, not even your mind. The only thing that can help you,” the Rebbe pointed with his finger to his heart, “the heart, if you have a feeling for her, if you feel that with not having her, you feel something is missing, a siman das iz das, if you don't have that feeling, it’s not the thing that’s for you.”