Chas v'Shalom - Breaking Off an Engagement
guidance by Rabbi Yosef Shusterman

Tips -- February 8, 2015

Guidance from Rabbi Yosef Shusterman
Renowned Lubavitch Rav, Posek and Dayan in Los Angeles CA
regarding halachic issues pertaining to shidduchim 

Chas v'shalom if it is necessary to break off an engagement, Rav Shusterman advises the following steps be taken according to halachah:    
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1.  Returning Gifts -  All gifts need to be returned.   
2. Mechila - Asking forgiveness. Once all gifts are returned, the two individuals  should each write a short note to the other (email is fine) asking for forgiveness for causing the other any hurt and wishing the other only happiness in the future.  Parents may also ask mechila if they desire.
3. Rav Shusterman emphasized that it is critically important that when others ask “what happened?” they both keep private that which is private and speak only kindly and respectfully of the other.
4. Financial Loss - A Rav should be consulted to determine whether monetary compensation is required.

Following these halachah scrupulously, will assist every single in moving ahead to find their bashert and build a binyan adai ad on the foundations of Torah and Mitzvos!