What is the Maximum Difference of Age?
|
Tips -- July 2, 2015
|
To Celebrate our 100th Shidduch, the first 100 people to donate $100 will receive a copy of the updated "Mazal Tov: A Chabad Wedding Guide." Please Support the Shidduch Network! Click here
What Happens if the Two Individuals are in Love?
The Rebbe said that if the boy is older by 10 years, he will not allow a shidduch (sometimes even 8 years).
What happens if the two individuals are in love? What would the Rebbe do then even if there was a big age difference?
It once happened that there was a boy who was 29 years old and he was dating a girl 18 years old and they became very strongly attached. So of course, they called requesting a brachah and hascomo from the Rebbe, and the Rebbe answered, “No, I can not agree to this shidduch.”
The boy called and says, “Tell the Rebbe, I feel so attached to her, I will not be able to live without this young lady.”
I relayed this to the Rebbe and the Rebbe said, “For the reasons that I have against a Shidduch when the difference is more than 10 years, I cannot agree to this Shidduch, because later they will be sorry even though they don't realize it now.”
I got a call from the young lady. She told me the same thing. The Rebbe gave the same answer. Then the parents of the boy called. “You have to do something. We are afraid that our son may have a breakdown.”
I relayed this to the Rebbe, the Rebbe said, “I’m not going to allow something to happen which I feel and I see that chasva vshalom in a certain period of time it’s going to have a negative effect and the same thing happened with the parents of the girl and b’shum ofen, under no condition, did the Rebbe allow that to happen.
Even after the Rebbe had a stroke, we would ask the Rebbe about shidduchim, the Rebbe would respond by nodding with his head. Once I asked the Rebbe about a shidduch where there was an age difference of 11 years. I told the Rebbe the ages and in a split second, the Rebbe nodded with his head, no. I asked the Rebbe, because the difference is more than 10 years? The Rebbe nodded his head, yes.
What if the girl is older than the boy?
The Rebbe would agree if it’s only 3 years that she’s older, but more than 3 years, the Rebbe would not allow it.
If you benefit from the Shidduch Group Network, please make a tax deductible donation to continue and increase networking and eduction for shidduchim. Your donation matters!
Click here to donate via GoFundMe
What Happens if the Two Individuals are in Love?
The Rebbe said that if the boy is older by 10 years, he will not allow a shidduch (sometimes even 8 years).
What happens if the two individuals are in love? What would the Rebbe do then even if there was a big age difference?
It once happened that there was a boy who was 29 years old and he was dating a girl 18 years old and they became very strongly attached. So of course, they called requesting a brachah and hascomo from the Rebbe, and the Rebbe answered, “No, I can not agree to this shidduch.”
The boy called and says, “Tell the Rebbe, I feel so attached to her, I will not be able to live without this young lady.”
I relayed this to the Rebbe and the Rebbe said, “For the reasons that I have against a Shidduch when the difference is more than 10 years, I cannot agree to this Shidduch, because later they will be sorry even though they don't realize it now.”
I got a call from the young lady. She told me the same thing. The Rebbe gave the same answer. Then the parents of the boy called. “You have to do something. We are afraid that our son may have a breakdown.”
I relayed this to the Rebbe, the Rebbe said, “I’m not going to allow something to happen which I feel and I see that chasva vshalom in a certain period of time it’s going to have a negative effect and the same thing happened with the parents of the girl and b’shum ofen, under no condition, did the Rebbe allow that to happen.
Even after the Rebbe had a stroke, we would ask the Rebbe about shidduchim, the Rebbe would respond by nodding with his head. Once I asked the Rebbe about a shidduch where there was an age difference of 11 years. I told the Rebbe the ages and in a split second, the Rebbe nodded with his head, no. I asked the Rebbe, because the difference is more than 10 years? The Rebbe nodded his head, yes.
What if the girl is older than the boy?
The Rebbe would agree if it’s only 3 years that she’s older, but more than 3 years, the Rebbe would not allow it.
If you benefit from the Shidduch Group Network, please make a tax deductible donation to continue and increase networking and eduction for shidduchim. Your donation matters!
Click here to donate via GoFundMe