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Tips -- September 7, 2015
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- When asking someone for information regarding a shidduch, one must always preface the request by saying, "The reason I'm asking you for this information is because someone is considering a shidduch with this person." This focuses the mind of the person being questioned and makes sure that what they say will be constructive.
- Before you answer the question, ask yourself how well you know the person, and what is your source of information? How do you feel about the person and what is going to happen to the information once it is disclosed?
- Is the source of your information firsthand, secondhand, or mere hearsay? Say only what you know to be 100% true and don't exaggerate or embellish.
- If you don't like the person or have a grudge against them, don't act as a reference.
- The Torah states, "Do not stand aside as your fellow's blood is being shed." This means that if you have essential information about someone who has a fault that would be detrimental to establishing a Jewish home, a happy marriage or a wholesome relationship, then, you are obligated to divulge that information.