The more shidduchim I am involved in, the more coaching I realize is needed especially in the department of prioritizing and bringing clarity to one's thoughts, wants, aspirations etc This is not just shidduchim related but in fact life related.
Boruch Hashem, bochurim/girls and parents are valuing the importance of coaching; especially when there is a lack of focus and clarity.
Clarity of what marriage is supposed to be.
Clarity of who they themselves are (self awareness).
Clarity whom they are seeking as their ideal spouse.
Clarity what circumstances are deal breakers and what are negotiable.
Clarity as to what needs to be addressed and accomplished with each date.
How many times do we as shadchans or parents hear:
- "I like him/her but I dunno...."
- "I feel good when I'm with him/her but I don't want to give up my single life - my friends."
- "Seems good but maybe I can do better."
- "I can't stand the pressure."
- "I wish someone would decide for me already."
- "What should I do with my son/daughter? Apply pressure or back off. I'm having sleepless nights watching my child. We're all emotionally drained!"
Getting married is making most probably the most important decision of one's life to date. So don't trek alone. Use the resources at one's disposal like professional coaches, mentors, mashpiim, people who can offer an objective, common sense opinion.
The antidote to being overwhelmed or indecisive is CLARITY.
I'm here to help if you feel I can.